Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Slow Road

It has been a slow road to recovery since my surgery last week. It's been a full week since the surgery and I still have moments of sharp pain. This is especially true after I have eaten a meal. The pain is much different than what I had before my surgery but it doesn't make it any better. I long to be free of pain and to be able to do things again with my family.

On the hospital's release papers I was shocked to see that some women are actually able to resume work after two days time. Granted, they are probably talking about a desk job but still. I can't sit in an upright position for very long and could not think of actually working right now. Granted, I am a wimp. I know that and it's no secret from those who know me. But I like to think that I've toughened up some since we had Violet, in essence, I'm not as wimpy as I once was.

I know my pain tolerance level is low but that doesn't mean I just cry every time a little bit of pain hits me. And the pain I've been talking about here is not some little ache and pain, it hurts like you wouldn't believe. I've been able to tapper down on my pain meds. but still need them from time to time. It takes alot for me to take a pain pill, so there's no worry of me becoming addicted, but I would still like to get off them completely.

Violet has been doing fairly well throughout all of this but it is starting to catch up to her. She gets up early, on her own. We never know from one day to the next what type of mood she's going to wake up in. Some days are much better than others. After spending a full day at daycare our little girl comes home famished and asks immediately for something to eat. And, it's not like she's not eating at school because she eats everything we send with her. Finally, once she's eaten Violet's exhaustion sets in and it's not long before she's fast asleep.

I hate all of this. Gregg has been working so hard to take care of his family and he is exhausted himself. I don't know when he had his last full night of sleep but it has been a while. He is so sluggish in the mornings and I worry that it affects how his days go. I do my best to try to help out in the mornings. I sit with Violet and help her get dressed when she'll let me. I pack her lunches and bag, with extra clothes and such. It's not much but at least it's one less thing that Gregg has to do.

What I hate the most though is the lack of time I now get with Violet. She has slowly pulled away from me, preferring her Daddy over me. I don't begrudge Gregg that but I do miss her. It's hard to get her to sit by me for any length of time and when she's upset all I want is to comfort her. Violet is very much like her Daddy in the mornings and does not like to be fooled with. So, there's not much quality time happening in the mornings. Then, when she comes home, it's not long before she's put to bed and sleeping the night away. This is a drastic change from when she's at home during the day and I miss that.

So, if you happen to think of it, please keep us in your prayers. Pray that I heal quickly and am able to get back to being the Mommy I long to be. Pray for Gregg, that he gets the rest he needs and that he continues to remain healthy. And please pray for Violet. Pray that she settles down and will adjust to being back at home with me once I am able to take care of her and I. This has been an extremely long journey and we're ready to reach our final destination of full health. Thank you for your prayers. My family and I greatly appreciate them.


jenni said...

The three of you are in our prayers!

Kimberly said...

Thanks Jenni. They mean the world to us.