Friday, December 11, 2009

Trying To Heal

A week ago we were hit with glorious snow. Snow!!! For us to get SNOW so far down south is rather an oddity. When we're fortunate enough to get snow we get a little bit crazy and take full advantage of the glorious white stuff. This is one of my best photos from that wonderful day...

In the meantime, I would like to thank everyone for their encouraging words and prayers for us this week. It has been a horrible week but we've been keeping as busy as possible. If I'm doing stuff, or running around, it's hard for my emotions to get the best of me. Some moments are really hard and they strike at the oddest times. Two AM the other night was one such moment for me. I bawled like I've never bawled before because I thought I had heard Pepper's meow. Crazy, I know, but that's all it took to set off the waterworks. It was as if a dam had been broken and my sobs were gut wrenching. Bless my hubby's dear heart, he held my shaking body and was there for me until the sobbing stopped. Needless to say, we're exhausted ~ he, because he's woken up a few times to help me through my grief; me, because my grief keeps me awake at night.

The daytime has been a bit better than my nights. I do whatever I can to get out of the house. Today was shopping, pictures with Santa, small lunch with Violet, and playtime at an indoor playground at one of our bigger malls. We return home exhausted and ready for bed. Obviously I can't keep up with this pace for much longer but home seems to be my enemy when it comes to memories. My stomach has been in knots for days and so my eating habits are less than nourishing (hey, hopefully I can lose a few pounds as a result of that! Wouldn't that be nice?). Whenever I eat it seems to cause my stomach pain right now. Things will settle down soon though, at least I hope so.

Even with all of the grief I've been experiencing over our loss I wouldn't change our decision to adopt Pepper all those years ago. She was an incredible cat and we were lucky to have her as a member of our family. Pepper never hissed, bit, or struck out at Violet. Not even when Violet didn't understand the concept of being "gentle" when petting an animal and would be a little rough with her. Pepper was the most patient and easy going cat I've ever known. I don't know when we'll get another cat but, when we do, I pray the new family member will have at least half the personality traits that Pepper did. I'm thinking though that our next four-legged family member will be of the canine variety. I'd really like an English Bulldog, but we'll see how that goes. I just know I'm not ready for another cat yet.

We're trying to heal from this loss. I think it will take longer than we'd like for it to but that's okay. We'll just keep pressing on and working through the tough moments and thank God for the wonderful years we had the pleasure of living with, and loving, the greatest cat that ever lived.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

I've never known anyone so affected by the loss of a pet. Bless your heart. I hope thing start to ease up for you soon. Hugs.