Sunday, January 3, 2010
Thoughts for 2010
Where has the time gone? It doesn't seem possible that another year has come and gone and yet the calender tells me this is true. Time is slipping away from me at lightening speed. I swear it seems like it was just yesterday when Gregg and I brought Violet home for the first time. Yet here she is, five years later, growing up too fast for her mother's heart to take. I've decided that time is a thief. It doesn't care about slowing down, it only wants to move faster and faster, making our time with our children seem like it's just a fleeting moment.
I miss holding my baby in my arms, rocking her and sharing the blissful moments with her right before she fell asleep. I miss hearing her contented sighs as she gave in to sleep. I miss how she would raise her hands up to me, indicating she wanted to be held and snuggled. Now, I can barely lift Violet. And her strong willed independence keeps her from crawling up into my lap very often. I miss the snuggles we would share daily. Bedtime is still a nice ritual for us though. After getting into her pajamas and brushing her teeth, I get to read to her a few chapters out of her newest children's Bible, then it's lights out. (BTW, we love Violet's new Bible and I highly recommend it to anyone with young children.) Thankfully, Violet still likes for me to sing her favorite lullabies as she settles in for the night. Songs that I've either made up just for her or ones that I've changed the melodies to. Violet calls them her songs. "Mommy, would you sing me my songs please?" To hear her ask for them makes my heart want to sing for joy.
Violet is in a hurry to grow up. I can't really blame her for that because I was the same way when I was her age. I dreamt of being independent myself, of being able to do the things that a five year old can't because they're too young. I was ready to be on the go, not really knowing where I would go once I had the chance, just knowing that there were things out in this great big world of ours that I wanted to see. Violet is just like me in this regard and I'm pretty sure her Daddy was the same way. And now I understand why my parents, and grandparents, would always tell me to, "Slow down. There's no hurry to grow up." I understand now that they wanted time to slow down for them too. They wanted more time with me as a child because they knew it wouldn't be long before I was all grown up.
So, here we are in 2010. A brand new year has been rung in and it has ushered in new hopes, dreams, wishes, and resolutions. I have a lot of the same resolutions that most people have ~ to eat healthier, become more physically active, and lose some weight being at the top of that list. But the greatest resolution I have is to just be more available to my husband and daughter. To not let the little things get in the way of spending time with those I love most in this world. Dishes can wait until after Violet's bedtime. It's okay to hire a babysitter every once in a while so that Gregg and I can have some alone time and actually go out on a date. Although it's important to stick to a budget for the most part, it's okay to get off it every now and then and to splurge on something with your family ~ like the zoo or children's museum.
My hopes, dreams, and wishes are to be a better wife for Gregg and to make our home a welcoming place for him to come home to and be able to relax in. Also, I want to become a better homemaker. A cleaner, more organized home is a relaxing home. And so that means getting rid of the clutter and setting up a system for how the mail/bills are dealt with (and all the toys that clutter our floors). I want to be a better mom for Violet. To stop and be with her whole heartedly when she wants to talk or do something. And to have more patience with her when she misbehaves. Lord, do I need more patience! I want to be a better model of grace, forgiveness, and love for my little girl. And, I want to enjoy life no matter what the circumstances are surrounding us at the time. Joy can be found in sadness and grief. Laughter can calm a frazzled nerve. And peace can exist, even when we don't understand how it's possible to have any. I want to live life to the fullest and to live it in such a way that I won't have any regrets. Someday, when people look back on my life, especially my daughter, I hope they'll be able to honestly say they knew they were fiercely loved by me and that I was always there for them. And, even though I made mistakes along the way, I always strived to live the best life possible.
Finally, my thoughts and wishes for YOU this New Year are that you will be blessed beyond measure! I pray that everyone has a healthy and happy year. May you find joy and peace where you least expect it. And may you always know that you are loved deeply by the One who created you. Happy New Year from our family to yours!