Sunday, March 25, 2012

Better Than I Imagined

As I lie here my thoughts are going to that age old question, "what if?". There are so many memories running around in my head right now. For instance, what if my biological mother hadn't given me up for adoption? Where would I be today? Where would my parents be? Would I have ever met the love of my life? What would I be like as a person today? Would my faith still be an integral part of me? I would like to think I would be the same person I am and that everything else would have fallen into its place - my faith, my marriage and my daughter, all together as it is now. But the reality of things though would probably point to no, it wouldn't be the same.

All these questions, and hypothetical ideas of what life would be like, make me all the more thankful for the life I have today. My parents who adopted me loved me and did everything they could to give me a good childhood. They provided so many things in my life and encouraged me to pursue the talents I had. I know I am who I am because of my parents influences in my life. A lot of the things I achieved we're due, in part, to their never ending support and encouragement to give my personal best in all that I did. Even my faith was shaped a great deal by my parents. Most particularly my Dad. He was a pastor and I grew up in the churches he was at. I know he wondered at times if I was actually listening, paying attention to anything he said. Despite my youthful antics and mistakes, I did pay attention Daddy.

I have made a lot of mistakes in life. Most were little things that didn't affect anyone but myself. But there were some pretty doozies too. Mistakes that could have really hurt me or someone else, or both. Yet God spared me. He looked upon me with a great merciful heart. I am standing here today only because he protected me from some horrible outcomes - like the giant black Brahma bull I just barely missed hitting while driving home. I was running late for curfew and tried to make up the time on a little back road that led home. I rounded a curve, going much faster than I should have, when I noticed two big eyes as they turned to look at my car. That massive bull was pitch black and was standing right in the middle of the road. I didnt see him until I was right on him. If he hadn't turned his head I would surely have hit him. Run ins with creatures that big rarely end well. For instance, I have an uncle who lost his leg when his truck hit a horse. Take a look at the photo below and you'll see pretty much what I faced that night...

(photo is not my own and artist is unknown)
As I look back on my life, I can see my Father's hand at work in my life. He guided me when I was lost to the trappings of this world. He protected me from things that could have had a tragic outcome. And He brought me to where I am today. He took me from the small country town in Northeast Texas where I grew up to a large city right on the Gulf - a place where I knew absolutely no one. He guided me to new friends and to a young man who stole my heart almost immediately. That young man grew to be an amazing husband, father, provider and church lay-worship leader. And I am incredibly blessed to call him my husband!

My life didn't turn out the way I thought it would but it is so much better than I imagined it could be!

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