Insomnia. I hate that word and what it means in my life. It is now 3:30 a.m. and I am WIDE awake. I would much rather be sleeping right now. Yet, I cannot seem to shut my brain off.
As I day-dream (or would that be night-dream?) of sleep, I can't help but be reminded of the Bible story where Jesus calms a storm. After spending a day ministering to the people whom he loved, Jesus called his disciples, his trusted friends, and said, "Let's go across to the other shore." (Mark 4:39) Jesus was tired and he had no trouble when it came to sleep. He went to the lower level of the boat, while his friends remained on top, and he slept. He slept so soundly that he didn't wake when their boat was caught in the middle of a big storm. Oh how I would love that kind of sleep right now. This storm was not your typical, everyday type of rain storm. The winds were blowing so strong that it was pushing water into their boat. So much water in fact, that the men thought they would sink and be lost to the storm. They woke Jesus in a panic and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" Wow, that's a question that would wake anyone up immediately.
Jesus response when he woke up was to rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" (Mark 4:39). And the winds and the sea obeyed. Can you imagine what his friends thought? The next two verses tells us that they were filled with a great fear. Fear? Jesus had just calmed a huge storm and their hearts were filled with fear? I can't imagine a safer place to be than to be with Jesus!
And so that is exactly where I am at right now. I am awake at nearly 4:00 in the morning, not a wink of sleep to be had, and I've been studying God's word and spending time in prayer. He has me awake for some reason and so my response is to listen.
I have to be honest though, I am a tad bit envious of how Jesus was able to sleep in the midst of a major storm. I can't imagine the boat was very soothing as I'm sure it was lurching and rocking every which way. I also imagine it was quite noisy on the boat as well with waves crashing against the it and the gusty winds howling by. Yet, he slept. And he slept so soundly that his friends had to wake him up! What I wouldn't give to be able to sleep like that!
Insomnia stinks, especially when you are bone tired. But I refuse to let that beat me. I am taking this time to study and draw closer to my Lord. And yes, that means blogging about what HE has placed on my heart. I hope this has encouraged you as much as this little revelation has for me. Insomnia can be time wasted, as you lie in bed and long for sleep. Or, it can be used with a purposeful intent to spend time with the One who created you. There is a line in the song Blessings, by Laura Story, that says, "What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?" He is near to me and I find great comfort in that.
2 comments:
It's 4:35 when I type this and I am up often like you. I think that God speaks to each person differently. In the Bible some were woken, some has vivid dreams, a man was even talked to by donkey!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with God using night time for you to have the conversation with Him. He just knows that we are different and this is when He can best have quiet time with us. You can still be at Peace and Calm like in the storm and have fear too. Example: I know that the Lord wants me to step away from CC, however I don't know what the future holds. I think that the fear that they had wasn't of Jesus it was what's next? What could he do or allow to happen? Often times we up in the middle of the night, some are a bit fearful of the future I think, even though we trust Him, there is still the What if? that we are unsure about. Thoughts? What are you thinking about?
Karri, such wise words. I'm not up for any specific thought resonating through my mind. We had a busy day and then had friends over for dinner. I think all of that has just physically wound me up. Lack of sleep is a small price to pay for the blessings that this day has been!
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